From this slumber she shall wake 

when true love's kiss 

the spell shall break 

Heart Broken

Family is important, is it not?

     As of right now, I'm heart broken (and to be honest infuriated); Brandon's (my love's) brother Stephen and I had an argument a couple weeks ago. And it has now escalated into something much bigger and now has the family in turmoil, caused tension between Brandon and I, and I know how these stories end. Let me explain;
            When I was with my ex, his mother hated me. I was the only one to see it [well             besides my family of course and my ex's (whom shall not be named) aunt Prea, god I   loved her and miss her dearly,]. Ever since him and I moved in together (after his mom called me a slut at the graduation party) there was major tension; tension, between him n I, him and his mom, his mom and I, all bad. To say the least, it grew until one day i couldn't take it anymore and I stood up to her; I thought I was going to marry her son (we were discussing it and planning our future) and thought that she would finally see that it wasn't cool. Yeah well she didn't, and we struggled for the whole last 6 months (me being blind to all of it till after) and then it abruptly ended. In the end, I made a promise to myself to never let that happen again; I told myself that if they do not like me from the beg. they won't ever. And I learned a lot from it, learned what I did wrong and what not to do. And honestly and happy it didn't       work out because it wasn't meant to be. So, circling back round....
     When it comes to Stephen and I, we argue like brother and sister, and I put him in place a lot like an older sibling would. Now, I am not being vindictive, Stephen likes to play the victim and is extremely selfish. Bringing you up to date now, Stephen has two chiweenies that he doesn't like anybody babysitting, anybody feeding and god forbid if he hears one yelp, screech, cry or any noise that they make that sounds like they are dying. The rest of the dogs in the house are fairly bigger, and when mine and Brandon's come to play they are rough and rowdy. The argument was caused by him having an attitude and me smarting off; his girl dog ran right into the middle of where the big dogs were playing, and yelp because they ran into her. Well she saw them and ran right into the middle of them (I was watching the dogs play while I sat next to where it happened). Comes out pushing Akiba off the couch and yells at them to stop and settle down and huffs and blah blah. Naturally, I defend myself and am extremely defensive over my dogs; I snap at him telling him he doesn't know what hes talking about and they didn't do anything she ran into them. He continues to argue even though he wasn't even in the room when it happened! So later that night his dog yelps again, this time because she got scared while she was playing with on of mine. Brandon's little sister gasps and says omg are you ok...Well you can only guess what Stephen did; I replied calmly with shes fine nothing happened and I might have rolled my eyes. Stephen went off saying "I don't know what your problem is, you have had such an attitude with me all night" and such things as I need to pay attention to whose house I am in and how I need to recognize who I am talking to and that Brandon and I should take our dogs and leave. Brandon intervened at that point because of how rude he was being. 
     And here we are a couple weeks lately, I have not really gotten over it because Stephen had no repercussion of what he did, but Brandon moved on and was being the bigger person but his brother told him to stop talking to him. And explained to their mom that he is pissed "because Brandon chose" me "over him". 

I know how these stories end, and I am sincerely heart broke over the entirety of it, because I told my self never again...

Transforming the 30 Day Challenge

  So by now, you probably think I am a flake. I would too; I cant seem to keep up with this every day a new writing challenge, plus the one I chose isn't too exciting. So, I am now transforming it into topics to talk about rather than doing the whole Day 1, Day  2, Day 3 thing. Hope you can appreciate that at least I am acknowledging my sucky consistency.

Just Love Here

30 Day Challenge: Day 8

     As you can see, I skipped Day 7 (~How you came across tumblr and how your life has changed since). I can come back to that topic later, I feel like I've already journal-ed about tumblr; it may be called a blog, and yes I may have one, but nobody really "blogs" on that site. So, I am continuing on to Day 8. 

~Are you a fitness guru or a coach potato? Talk about your exercise habits. 

     I would claim myself as both. I do not get up and go to the gym every morning before work at 5 am; however, I do not lay around all day doing nothing. I love adventures, sports, and exercising  in other ways than being a "gym rat".  I have been in sports my whole life, not hardcore, but enough to be healthy and athletic. Volleyball was and is my favorite sport to play. I do all kinds of stuff when the weather is nice (obviously because you can do more in the warmer weather thus proving why summer is better ha) and when the weather isn't so nice I snowboard. I definitely keep myself active all the time though; I have two boxer mixes who love to play so I take them out quite a bit. On the other hand, I love to have lazy days. Sometimes it's nice to just do absolutely nothing; therefore, I admit and take full responsibility of being a coach potato every now and then. I have my happy place, right in the middle. 

30 Day Challenge: Day 5 & 6

    With my busy holiday weekend, I already missed another day.. It was such a short topic so I figured I could combined the two days. ;} forgive me tehe

~Your 3 favorite colors. (Day 4)

Lime, Teal, and Hot Pink 


~Your favorite season and why. (Day 5)

     Summer by far is my favorite season. Spring is a close second. 
I love Summer because of the warm weather, late nights, abundant sunshine, just to name a few. I think a lot of factors play into my love for Summer. For one, I'm anemic so to me the heat is amazing; I love just laying out in the sun. For two, I absolutely love going to the beach, any beach, and I am not to fond of going when it is windy and cold, which would make summer ideal. Thirdly, I prefer to be comfortable in flowing tank tops, shorts, and summer dresses rather than needing along sleeve and jacket and boots and not being able to move as freely! Above all else, I love the possibilities of Summer! You can go to the park without ending up with your nose bright red and your hands like icicles even when you bundle up; the park is a big thing when you have two dogs who love adventures. The possibilities don't stop at the park. For example; you have barbecues, pool parties, fairs, drive-in dates, bonfires at the beach, and so much more. I have had so many awesome memories during summer, it always ends up being too short and I'm never ready for it to end. #beachbum #summerlovin 

Bullies and Buddies

     One major part of me (that almost everybody knows) is my passion towards animals. Yes, it is mainly towards pets. I will fight for those who can't; meaning, I don't support breeders, I support no kill animal shelters, and I WILL rescue a stray and either try to find him/her a home (whether it be his/her previous owners or a new forever home). All of my pets (specifically speaking of dogs) have been, and are, rescues and I would not change it for the world!  I don't need a specific breed, color, or "brand" that I pay a breeder for. I find pleasure in saving a life rather than picking one out! And maybe it is because I don't need that "brand name" in order to be happy with my pet. Now, don't get me wrong I am not saying that purebred pups are horrible or a disgrace, they are just as wonderful and there are people out there who will love and cherish them, I am only speaking for myself. Another topic, that I can technically only speak for myself on, is the misconception of a demeanor. 
     The demeanor of a "Pitbull" is based on the owner most of the time. With any bully breed there is a different personality, but all breeds have their own traits and personalities. I would like to address the fact I quoted pitbull. If you look up pitbull, there is no one specific breed called a "Pitbull"; it is called a bull terrier and there are several categorized under that breed. The definition even states "variety of bull terrier"; however, it also states that they are "often associated with ferocity." Thus emphasizing that the world has placed a stigma on these dogs that had no control over their history of violent owners. 
     I have the pleasure of owning a "Bluenose Pitbull"; Lily is a wonderful pet and she is obviously a mixture of several bull terriers most obvious being the American Bull Terrier. Lily has never been aggressive, and I firmly believe it is how we have raised her. [With any animal, if you are aggressive or abusive with them, there is a chance that they will defend themselves (which would result in an aggressive act).] When my dad brought Lily home she was terrified, scared to come through doors even, and to this day HATES men wearing hoodies and hats (I say hate because she gets frightened, barks and won't go anywhere near that person). She was a few months old when we showed her what love looked like and she came around. To this day, Lily is a beautiful, loyal, loving part of our family. So, my thoughts are simply: look it up and gain some knowledge before you start placing stigmas on my dog. One knowledgeable website happens to be: http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/dog-behavior/truth-about-pit-bulls I would also look into some "Pitbull" rescues if you were curious about their true demeanor because they handle, love, and care for them everyday and will be able to show you they are a gentle and loving breed. 

Now, like I said before this is my opinion and everyone is entitled to theirs;although, I will voice mine and support it any chance I can. With that being said, head to;

Rock & Brews on 6300 Pacific Coast Highway 

Wednesday December 4th between 6-9.

15%  of your total will go to Bullies and Buddies to help them pay for Medical bills 

There will be Raffles and other fun stuff going on for a good cause!!

Also go follow @bulliesandbuddies on instagram 

#justlovehere

30 Day Challenge: Day 4

So I guess I should address the fact that I  skipped a day. I thought about completing both days today, but I figured to just keep moving along. And hope I don't skip anymore! :] 

~Write about your closets friend(s). 

Rae; my bestie, sister, and closest friend. We have had our ups and downs, been through some rough times together, even had moments where we didn't speak at all, but we still remain friends. The main reason we had moments where we didn't  talk was because we went to different high schools. She tried staying at my school but wasn't impressed, so for that short time we had our separate "best friends" but never really forgot about each other. Rae and I kind of fall into the opposites attract column. Growing up we varied in height, obviously, and were the same for moments lol but I came out to be taller. Her with brown hair and her hazel eyes; Me with blonde hair (I am naturally blonde) and my blue/gray eyes, two pieces that fit together. She is very rational, extremely organized, and "straight edge". While I, on the other hand, am emotionally irrational, disorganized, only slightly have it together, and am more of a partier/socialite. The tattoo on my wrist, which I explained in a previous post, resembles our bond. And I must say it can be pretty strong! 

Now, I do have other close friends but none that have stuck around this long. I do have a good friend now who has known me since high school, and can honestly say she's an amazing person. In high school I had two best friends (the three of us were nearly inseparable) but unfortunately sometimes ppl change into something you just don't click with anymore. Or they betray you (in one case was true for me); I can forgive but I won't necessarily let you back into my life. Such is life, people come in to change your life, for better or worse, or you change theirs'  and that's just how it goes. Those who stick around turn into family. 💗

30 Day Challenge: Day 2

~Talk about your tattoos and piercings, if you have any. 

Oh yes, 4 tattoos and 2 piercings; I would have 3 piercings but my belly ring was rejected. Sad to say, I knew it was going to happen just hoped it wouldn't. 

My tattoos stand for many things. They represent that I use my body as a blank canvas, and these beautiful works of art that I have created only add to it. Each tattoo also represents a piece of me and resemble things I stand for.

My very first tattoo is more like a coloring book page in the shape of a heart; it holds several images within it's borders (kinda like how I have different traits that are deep beneath my skin). 

My second, a friendship heart with only half colored, is on my wrist. The placement, the color, the shape, and the reason for it are all meaningful and resemble my love for my best friend. The placement: because it is one of the two places you check your pulse (sisters by choice-always in each other's hearts). The color: mine is solid and her's is an outline and when placed together they fit like ying'n'yang. The shape: classic friendship bracelet heart, like when we were kids. 

The third ink session was my shoulder piece; Sleeping Beauty's castle amidst a storm and flowers on the outside. Wrapped with a ribbon from my chastity heart to my key. My high school sweetheart and I had somewhat of a dramatic ending to our relationship which birthed that tattoo idea. To remind me that I deserve to be treated like my favorite princess but to still know where I came from (hence the Joshua tree and flowers). The flowers represent inner strength, family, and loyalty. I put the art together myself and the artist is amAzing! {{Mike from Bone Deep tattoo in Apple Valley if you want beautiful work! 💙}}

My fourth tattoo is a verse. 1 Corinthians 13; Love Never Fails. After what I have been through in my life with overcoming depression and an anemic issue, that verse really meant a lot and was close to my heart. I'm not extremely religious but was I was Christian. When I "lost" the "love of my life" (I say it in quotes because that is how I felt when it happen, sincerely feel differently now though) I sank slowly into a self destructive depression (not suicidal), and found out I was severely anemic, I couldn't have done it without the people who loved me and never let their love alter no matter how changed I was or how typos my decisions. I thank god for that; therefore, I placed that verse closest to my heart on my rib cage accompanied by a daisy, a simple innocent daisy. 

Thus concluding my explanations of my artwork, there will be more so to be continued...

30 Day Challenge: Day 1

~Your middle name and how you feel about it.    

 Berlen: I absolutely love my middle name. My mom combined both my great grandma's names to form my middle name. It couldn't be more unique nor more special. I cherish family dearly and am grateful my mom wanted me to carry a piece of her grandma's.Bernice: I call her Huma, don't really know how that came to be, but when I was really little it is what I called her and have ever since. Huma is the mother of my mom's dad and was 100% Norwegian. She makes up the first half, obviously.Helen: The mother of my mom's mom. She was 100% English. I didn't see her as much since she lived a few hours North.I have an extremely close-knit family and had (and have) wonderful grandparents. I feel each has taught me different things about life and a piece of me represents each one of those memories.

30 Day Challenge

   When you here 30 day challenges what do you think of? 

      What subject field would it fall under?

I guess, I always thought of it as an ever so popular photo challenge (you know, where there's 30 things you have to capture in a picture and post it). There is so much more to 30 day challenges than photos though. Now don't get me wrong, photos add depth to any post whether it is the focal point or a visual aid but what about a different challenge? What about a writing challenge; thirty days of writing with each day it's own topic. I prefer that challenge that will test my brain and heart and writing skills all at the same time. And for a girl who just uses writing as an outlet, it is very therapeutic. So, with that being said; I shall start a 30 day blog challenge. All the while still learning about this whole blog world I've gotten myself into. 

New Beginnings

   It all seems so intimidating to me. The whole internet blog word is unfamiliar; although, I feel like I've been blogging forever. It all started on Facebook as an outlet in my notes, which I kept private. Then grew into personal writing (in a journal, notebook, whatever was handy) and here we are now; a blogger, blogging on a blog site. And so it shall begin.